Struggling MotherFUCKING city....

Hello blogging friends!!! What a crazy past few weeks I've had... My brothers family arrived back into Kansas a few weeks ago and we made the trip to my moms to see them. They are spending a few weeks at my moms with their kids so I chose to come stay at my moms and visit for a few more weeks! It's been a longggggg 3 years since I saw my niece last and I had never met my adorable nephew yet! We were home for a weekend, went back to Iowa and the kids and I loaded up and when Eric left for Chicago we left to make the 8 hour trip 2 kids, 2 dogs and momma back to grandmas house!!! It's been amazing being around our family and soaking up all the time and still have about a month left here in Kansas before we will make the trip back to Iowa!!

So now that, that is out of our way lets discuss my weight and what I've been riding the STRUGLE fucking bus on....

First we left for Kansas on 5/5 and got here because we made a small pit stop on 5/6. Since 5/7 I've been HALF ASSING like there isn't  no damn tomorrow....boooooo!! The struggle is mother beeping reallllll! Being home and around my family and I want to eat the world and enjoy myself. I refuse to let myself not have fun but I also refuse to not stay on track. #mommasgotgoals I thought not weighing myself would hid all my issues but that isn't the right thing to do at ALL. It's just going to put my ass even farther behind when I arrive home on 6/14. So on Sunday I'm going to suck it the FUCK up and weigh myself. When I weigh myself it'll be a whole week back on track and 2 weeks of kinda on and off tracking and half assing. I'm here for a month enough time to get back on track and in a groove. Then when I go back its 8 hours to get home and I'll stay on track the whole way there. I don't have time for fuck ups! Since there is little traveling its much easier to stay on track. When I drove back and forth 3 times 8 hours it wasn't easy and it sucked! So my eating has been shit, I haven't really weighed myself and just overall I feel like crap! I haven't really drank much water or got my steps in. I need to get my arseeee in gear!!!

Just wanted to quickly up date y'all on what has been up in my life and where the heck I have been. I'm still here, hanging on tight and here! No excuses starting right now!!! I have goals and those goals need to get their asses kicked!!! So get ready to be UBER annoyed with my post and if you fail to see me posting kick my ass for me!!!

**fair warning, Eric isn't here in Palco with me to re-read these. Sorry (no not really) if I sound like an asshat!!!**

Do you reward yourself? I sure as shit do!!

     So I of course believe in some motivation and what better motivation than buying something new for myself? I normally only buy new shit for my kids, because well I'm that mom who doesn't need anything. As long as my kids are taken care of, I don't need shit and that's just me, don't be hating. So every 5 pounds I try to get myself something even if its something small I do it. I don't believe in rewarding myself with food, I'm trying to change my lifestyle so just feeding myself with an ass ton of food doesn't help the path to get where I want to be! So I figured I'd share some of the stuff I have on my "reward myself list" and we are skipping ahead to what weight I have left to lose. Here we go....

• 40 pounds- New thug life shirt (best shirts ever so soft go check them out!)
• 45 pounds- New hair cut/color (hopeful this will happen while I'm in Kansas, my hair needs it!)
• 50 pounds- New outfit (pants, shirt, cute clothes and not more gym clothes)
• 55 pounds- Mani/Pedi (momma liveeessss for this!)
• 60 pounds- Another new thug life shirt (I basically live for them!)
• 65 pounds- Full body massage (I'll be over my half way mark, I'll deserve that shittt!)
• 70 pounds- Family day out, Dinner/Movie/Jump up whatever just family day out!
• 75 pounds- New tennis shoes ( I live for new tennis too!)
• 80 pounds- Eric has to cook/clean up dinner! (normally ends up being bubble up pizza)
• 85 pounds- New sports bra (my boobies are SHRINKING..)
• 90 pounds- New workout clothes (by then I'll be so itty bitty!!)
• 95 pounds- Mani/Pedi (Again who doesn't love a feet rub?)
• 100 pounds- New hair cut/color (last time was 55 pounds ago, its okay!)
• 105 pounds- Family day out (Same as above we love this!)
• 110 pounds- Date NIGHT (KID FREEEEEEE)
• 115 pounds- I honestly have no idea what I get here I'll probably shit myself!
• GOAL WEIGHT-SHOPPING SPREE with my mom, aunt and Shelby to get me new normal cute size human clothes!

       I actually really have no idea what I want my GOAL weight to be but every chart at my doctors office says somewhere between 130-170ish. Ideally Eric says 170, I really just want to look sexy as FUCK butt ass naked! I know I'm going to have loose skin, I had 2 csection, with over 100 pounds to lose and I don't even care I rather have loose skin than die to a heart attack because I'm obese!

So that's my list, do you reward yourself??

Weigh-In Sunday, Week 19.

Sunday is here again, and I'm exhausted!! This past week we left our home in Des Moines, IA to drive the 8 hour trip back to my parents home in Palco, KS. We stopped in North Platte,NE on Thursday to stay the night and made the small 3 hour trip from North Platte to Wakeeney, KS on Friday AM to my Aunt Nics house. We came home because for the first time in 3 years my whole family is together at my moms house. My parents picked up my brothers family in Texas on Saturday AM and drove back to our childhood home and my sister came in from Wichita so we are all spending the weekend with our parents and kids. My mom says its the best Mothers Day gift any of us could of got her!!

So here we are weigh-in Sunday and to be 110% honest I didn't even want to weigh myself because I ate dinner at 11PM last night. I'm never even up at 11pm let alone eating a meal with my family so yah. Plus I can tell I'm super bloated my hands feel so damn swollen and hurt. But, I weighed myself anyhow. I'm not 100% sure I'll weigh myself next Sunday because on Tuesday I leave to take Eric back to Iowa and spend a few days at our house before I drive back to Kansas next Sunday. So here is this weeks weigh-in.......

So I lost a total of .4 pounds and how the fuck that happened I have no idea, but I'll take it!

I hope all you momma bears out there have an awesome Mother's Day and enjoy being with your families!!!

Hit or Miss April Goals!!

My April goals were basically like any other month. Lose some weight, work out and drink an ass load of water!! Did I hit or miss them? I'd say it was a crap shoot month!! Here is why!!

1. Lose 7 pounds-- I lost a total of 9.7 pounds even with my only gain of the18 weeks I've been doing this, so I totally kicked that ones ass!! Plus I lost 8.5 inches over my body for the month of April, so that's kinda awesome!

2. Team NO cheat meals--Now lets talk about a cheat meal, to me its when I go absolutely crazy and don't count a single point. If I count the points and know what I'm eating, than that doesn't count. I had 1 cheat weekend. Lets call it a cheat weekend! It was beautiful outside in Iowa and we wanted to spend the whole weekend out with our kids so I cheated. I counted half the points and half of them I didn't even care. I was enjoying my family and to me that's all that mattered!! So I did pretty well, could have done better. But, hey ya win some, ya lose some!

3. Workout 5-6 days a week--Yah I blew ass on this one. I don't know why. I kicked the first two weeks ass at the gym then it faded and faded fast! We had an incident at the gym between my daughter and childwatch teacher and now my 3 year old bawls when we go (most times) so I just don't even go with her because I'm not leaving her somewhere she is uncomfortable and I honestly don't blame her. I wanted to kill the child watch teacher for the reason, so yah. We went on Saturday and Kaity was okay so I'll be going this week before we leave for Kansas! Again win some, lose some!

4. Drink 160oz of water daily-- I always drink all my water. I love water, water to me is good. If I don't drink enough, I know what happens so I chug a lug that shit! I love love love Crystal Light Grape Energy and Strawberry flavor so it is a good mix to my water! I kicked this goals ass too!!

5. Weigh-in only on Sundays-- basically did this too. A few weeks back I started having a super unhealthy relationship with my scale. Where I was weighing myself multiple times a day and getting pissed when it went up. So yah, a few weeks of no scale and it kicked that habit to the curb! I might weigh myself on Wednesday just to make sure I'm on track but mainly just Sundays!

I'd say overall I did okayish! I didn't hit them all, but I also didn't not hit some of them! What counts is that I'm still on track to lose my 79 pounds by November 24th! I only have 40.6 pounds to go and I honestly feel like this is a good goal that I will hit! Ideally I'd love to lose 100 pounds in 1 year of this journey but if I don't I'm 110% okay with that. This for me is a lifestyle change and my lifestyle has changed a lot this time around!

Did you hit or miss your goals for the month of April? Did you set goals for May? We are just a few weeks away from the official start of summer so kick ass for the month of May!!!

May Goals!

1. Lose 9 pounds, this will be difficult for me this month but I need a bit more motivation since I will be back in Kansas all but 9 days the month of May!

2. Win my Mama Laughin diet bet and meet my goals for my transformers diet bets! Mama Laughlin's diet bet I weighed in at 244.1 and need to weigh 234.3 by May 22nd! I think its doable, I just need to stay on track to keep losing even after the diet bets are over. I'll spend the last weekend at the lake with my family so hopefully I get lots of exercise in that weekend and try to eat as healthy as I can!

3. Work out 2-3 days a week. I'm not going to set some crazy goal this month for exercise because lets face it , I will be visiting family. Most weekends I'm sure I'll be at my aunts where we stay up too fucking late and laugh too fucking much. So I'm hopeful I'll be able to walk the empty streets of Palco in the evenings with my two bae's and get some exercise in. Palco is so small, there isn't really a gym. (well there is but I'm not paying fucking $100 for the month I'm home to maybe or maybe not use it!)

4. Drink ZEROOOO soda. When I go home I tend to drink more soda and consume less water. My goal is to take my cup with me and chug a lug every single stinking day! Trying not to miss 1 day of getting my 160oz's in!

5. Enjoy my family and the time I'm home. Being a military family and with my brothers family who is also military, its hard to be home at the exact same time. My parents miss their kids and grandchildren like crazy as much as they miss me. I am not willing to not enjoy my family just to hit all of these goals but I think I can stay on track and meet my goals while still enjoying being home. I haven't seen my brothers family in 3 years, its been a LONG LONG LONG time. We use facetime, but its not the same as smothering those kiddos in hugs and kisses (my niece and nephew!)

6. Post blog post at least twice a week. Something I slack like a crazy slacker on this. The past few weeks to name a few!!

7. Last but not least is to try and stay within my points every day. I'm lucky that I grew up in such a small town that there are NOT any fast food places in the town my parents live in. I would have to drive 30 minutes to get to one. So there will be lots of home cooked food and I need to make sure that I'm staying within my points and not going over every day, because that will lead to weight gain and I don't want that!!

So those are my goals! I'll see you all June 1st to update you on whether I hit or miss them! Pray I hit the shit out of them. Because if I see 229-230 on my scale by June 1st, I'll probably bawl my eyes out! When I hit 210-215, I will officially weigh less than my husband and lets be honest, it's been one HOT ass minute since that happened!!!

Weigh-In Sunday, week 18!

Why hello, week 18 of my weight loss journey! It's awesome to see you so beautiful and chipper this AM!! All this considering I'm pretty much super super happy with this week's weigh-in. I really wish I would have hit 239.9 by today but ya know, ya win some and ya lose some!! On Thursday we leave our home in Des Moines, IA and head to North Platte, NE so my husband can inspect some Marine Recruiter offices there. Then on Friday we head to good ol' Palco, KS! If your coming to kill me or my family, good luck. Its like a tiny ass pimple on the map. HA! We will get into our trip in a few minutes. Here is how I did for week 18 weigh-in! I basically killed the game y'all!

Y'all that is freakin' 3.3 pounds down in 1 week!!! I kicked this weeks ASS! I've slowed down a little on IG posting because I've been super busy with dress/skirts and ahh it's been a crazy ass week. But I'm still here, still slaying the shit outta this weight loss game y'all! Just because I don't post weight loss related things doesn't mean I've fallen off the wagon. I'm in this for the long haul! I've been in it for 18 weeks and I'm not about to give up now!!

This brings my total weight loss as of today right now to 38 pounds! I can seriously smell 50 pounds gone!! I put on some clothes that at Easter time fit for the most part but I could of sized up and it was big and I loved that it was so big on me! I hope by Thursday I've entered the 239's by the time I leave for my moms but we shall see!!!

I'm posting a picture of my weight watcher app because some asshat on IG messaged me saying that I was lying and haven't lost every week except for 1 in the past 18 weeks. It might be a .2-.4 loss but I assure you my ass isn't lying and I've been losing weight every SINGLE FUCKING WEEK ON MY OWN for the past 18 weeks! SO FUCK YOU! Yes I don't need to address this but hey. I'm slaying this shit and I've already shouted to the roof tops how much I started at and in case you can't add 240.5+38=278.5!

I hope you all kick next weeks ass and enjoy today!!