What motivates you?

This post slightly ties into my last post about your "oh holy shit moment." I'm sure everyone often tries to understand what motivates them. Why did they eat chicken 10849292 meals in a row? Why did they go to the gym a million times? Why do they work out so hard? Why do they count calories, points, macros, etc? What keeps them going?

I'm going to clue you in on a secret of what keep my ass going!!

My favorite cousin, Miss Megan is getting married. I know I've talked about this before! She's getting married in November of this year. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I'm so incredibly honored she would want me by her side when she marries her best friend! When she asked me I wasn't even thinking about losing the weight. Then when I thought about all the beautiful pictures I'll be in for the rest of my life it was instant motivation! I'll be hanging on walls, I'll be in family albums, my kids will show their kids & Megan's kids will do the same. I just can't be the overweight one in those pictures. When I set out to lose the weight, I knew I wanted to weigh right about 199 by the time she gets married, that means I would need to lose 79.5 pounds in a little over 10 months. I'm only 5'8-9"ish I'm not super tall but I feel like 199 won't look horrible and will be an okay weight for my body. (Between you and I, I hope I look fine as FUCK. It'll be the first family wedding my husband will be at. Got to make him want that shit!!)

Lets talk about my daily motivation though. My husband is a United State Marine and has been for the past 11 years. I'm so incredibly proud of be his wife, I hear the national anthem and I tear up, I watch sappy homecoming videos and I cry like a baby, that's how proud I am to be by his side. If you know 1 thing about the Marine Corps, its that they expect their Marines to be in tip top shape and wear their uniform with so much pride. He does those exact things and is the most handsome man in that uniform I've ever seen. (I'm biased, I know!!) Then you see me by his side...and well you get where I'm going right? How can he be proud of me or want to be holding my hand? I know I think the worse (we will cover that topic another day)! I know he loves me, he loves every curve, every inch of me for me. But I'm self conscious and that's what I think when I see tons of itty bitty mommas with their Marines at balls, events, etc. I was always the fat one in every group, picture (you name it I was the fat friend)! I got no shame in my game and really I never even gave it a second thought until recently! He's my every day motivation!

See those two beautiful babies with him and I? They are why I breath, why I wake up, why I do things I hate doing, why I eat so much chicken! (I'm a Kansan y'all, I love me some beef!) They are why I go to the gym 5-6 days a week. They are why I push myself harder than I ever have. They are why after 13 weeks I'm still pushing my ass harder than I ever have! I want to grow old holding their babies, I want to watch my son marry his best friend, I want to see my daughter look like a princess when she marries someone she loves more than life itself. I want to be there with my kids when they have their babies. How can I expect this body in the state it was in to carry me that long? How can I expect my body to give me that long when all I've done thus far is treat it like complete shit? I can't, so they are motivation! I want to show them how to be healthy, I want to be an example for them. I want to go to the park and run with them, I want to chase them, I don't want to be the one on the sideline all the time!

Lastly and most importantly is myself. I'm my own motivation. I look at myself now and know this isn't the body I want, this isn't the life I want to live. I don't want diabetes or heart disease by the time I'm 40. I deserve better, I am better. This year I'm giving myself the best gift I ever could. I'm giving myself the gift of getting my ass healthy and losing this weight! No one is going to do it for me. I have to for once in my adult life put myself before Eric, Kaity, or Gavin. For once I mean more to myself than those three. If I don't put myself before them for once, I won't be here for them in the long run, and what kind of mom or wife would that make me?

So what motivates you??

My holy shit, come to jesus moment!

I often hear of people talking about that moment in their life that they were like this is it. I never thought I would ever have that moment. Look I've done weight watchers like 5-6 times before. One year I paid for an entire YEAR of weight watchers and only used it for maybe like 3 months. Yah, that sooo happened! It was right after I had Kaity and was cleared to workout again. My husband took those dreaded "before" pictures. I know the drill. I know how my brain works. I know that after about 4-6 weeks of doing this the scale will be up and down, it'll never be consistent. I'll never get the 100+ pounds off I need too. I never ever before this time had a real AHH HAAA moment.

I watch tons of you tubers and their fitness journeys. One post said unless you have that realization within yourself, the timing just isn't perfect and more than likely you will fail. I didn't even realize that I had, had my ahh hhaa moment this go around until I heard him say that. Now I firmly believe that shit. Full heartedly. If you haven't had your "come to Jesus" moment, it's probably not going to last. You wont be full committed, sure you'll track your points, you'll drink your water, you'll lose one week, and then gain the next. I was the same way every time before this one. I always dreamed of being thinner like my cousins.

So I have a sister (Courtney), a sister in law (Holly), my mom (Laura/Momma Marcotte), my wonderful auntie (Nic), and two cousins (Megan & Shelby). I grew up super close for most of my childhood to Megan and Shelby. I of course am like 6 years older than Shelby who turned 21 this past December. Almost every summer for the past like 4-5 years I'd either go to my Aunt Nics and stay with them for a week or Megan would come stay with us for a week. I love these two as if they were my own sisters. All of them, every single one of the 6 of them are all much thinner than me.(Girls, I mean this in a nice way, not a bitchy way!) They are all so incredibly beautiful. Seriously!! I may or may not be a tad bit envious that they are all so beautiful and thin and just ahh why can't I have that? Well, now I know I can. I just need to work my ass off to get that way!

So that brings me to my holy shit moment!!

Shelby recently got married to an amazing guy Mr.Nick (that's what Kaity calls him). The wedding was in December, of course I went the awful long tip of a whole 8 hours home to be there. Like you really thought I'd miss that good ol' time? Hell no! It was a beautiful wedding, she was one of the most beautiful brides I've ever seen. If you've been around a "serious" situation in my family we are all so FUCKING emotional. I bawled, she walked in with her step dad and dad and ahh girl looked on fucking fleek...(Did I use fleek right?)...

Of course every wedding has a reception and dance. My sister, Courtney wanted to take a picture with my mom, aunt Nic, myself and her.

This is the picture that changed my life forever!

L-R (Me, my momma, my auntie, my sister)

You see when I saw this picture that night, I was forever changed. It was my holy shit, Brittanie what the hell has happened moment. Before then I had no moment, I had no idea why every time before I was trying to lose the weight. I had never before this day 12/17 been like if I don't change now in a few years how much worse is it going to get? It has taken me 8 years to go from probably 160-278.5 what I more than likely weighed in this picture. It 100% disgust me. This picture is the one picture I wish I could erase from the internet and never see, but then again in a few months when Megan gets married I know I won't look like that anymore and I can finally be proud as FUCK of myself. It took me YEARSSS to gain 100+ pounds so even if it takes me a few more years to lose it I know this time, I'm in for the long haul. This time there is no yo-yoing this time.

I'm a firm believer that if you want your cake on a diet, girl eat that shit! If you don't you're going to binge, binging leads to other bad shit, other bad shit leads to the scale going up, the scale going up leads us to not believing in ourselves and leads up to giving up. This time unlike every other time, everything in moderation. I want pizza? I'm eating it. I want cake? I'm eating it too. I want them both in the same day? I'm doing it, just good bye weeklies and hello strict ass for the next week! My holy shit, come to Jesus moment has taught me a lot this time around. Like FUCK the scale, it only tells me a number, sometimes that number is a bitch!

In a few weeks I'm actually getting ready to go home for a couple weeks with both my babes. It's a little over a month away and I've already slightly started panicking. This time around though EVERYONE and their dog knows I'm doing weight watchers and that I'm kicking some MAJOR booty! So that's a plus, however the closest Walmart to my moms house is like 45 minutes away and while my mom does have gym equipment at her house there is no "YMCA". So that has me nervous, they do have a rec center in my parents town but I believe it is kind of pricey to go there just every day and if I'm home for 2+ weeks paying $10 a day doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

L-R (Megan, Shelby, Aunt Nic, Momma Marcotte, Courtney, Myself) Holly lives in Hawaii, booo!

So what was you Ahh haaa moment? Did you have one? Do you think you need one to really make this work? Whatever it is I hope it's helped to push your ass harder and harder every single day of your journey! I hope your killing your goals!!

Happy Saturday, Y'all!!

29 is the new well...

29!!

This hunka, hunka, burning love turned 29 this week! Yesterday as a matter of fact. Do you know what he told me on Tuesday night as we were getting ready to go to bed? He says, "Tomorrow, I'm turning 29 for the first time." Uhh what? No my friend next year you're going to be DIRTY THIRTY and this momma is celebrating that she is with an older man!! He's so cute, he doesn't even act like 29, if you know (REALLY KNOW) Eric you know what a kind sweet hearted terrific family man he is! Y'all he has let me choose to either work or not work for the past 8 years. He never once has complained about a single fricken' thing. He truly works his ass off day in and day out. He's the perfect daddy, if there is such a thing. He is perfect example! He's so so so incredibly amazing. Just simply amazing!

In all aspects of his life he never lets anything get him down. Nothing at all, things rarely bug him. He is rarely ever mad, pissed, or angry. He most often has a happy face on, he is a total sports nerd! If it has to do with Kansas City Chiefs or the K-State Wildcats, he'll be the first to correct you! He's a coffee loving, little cutie pie! I really, really hit the jack pot with this one! I don't want to say all but, some of his family isn't very fond of me and not once has he ever let them come between us. He always sticks up for me. When we were trying to get pregnant with Kaitlynn and it was taking us FOR FREAKIN' EVER, he didn't complain (not one single time) over any of the test he had to do. Just to make me happy and try to fulfil my dreams of wanting to be a momma. I'm not sure how I got so lucky when god placed him in my life, but boy am I forever in a million and one years so grateful for that day 8 years and 1 day ago!

So Eric and I met on his 21st birthday. Like in real life met. We had talked on the phone and skyped while he was deployed to Iraq. This was like the real first time meeting! He had only been home from Iraq for a few days. Him and his best friend Brian were going bowling in Topeka where I happened to go to college. He asked if I wanted to go so I went. We've seriously spent EVER SINGLE NIGHT since that day together. (Minus training for the military kinds of goodness) He was in Topeka doing his post deployment stuff because at the time he was just a reservist. He was supposed to go back to Manhattan where he attended school at K-State to go back to school, but we ended up deciding to move in with each other! Best choice like EVER!!! A few months later on June 30th we were married in a tiny court house with his friend Sam and some random guy as our witnesses! It was PERFECT, honestly perfect!

Since his Birthday happened to land on a Wednesday he of course had to work! But he wanted to go to Samurai which is a Japanese Steak House were they cook on the hibachi grills in front of you. We love those places!! The rice is like CRACK, seriously for me its crack. I have no idea what they do to it, but I want to eat an entire 5 gallon bucket of it. I don't eat cooked veggies so I always get double rice and double white sauce. He is on a low-carb kick so he got double veggies and stole a few bites of rice from the kids and I! Kaity slept through the entire outing. Like Seriously child? Gavin loved the fire but didn't want to even touch his food. **eye roll** We got daddy two new superhero shirts, pretty bad ass ones too and we got him a superhero coffee mug. He's obsessed with his morning cup of coffee. We got him a superhero small cake so we could all take a tiny bite and we wouldn't have tons of leftovers of cake! It was perfect, we got home he watched a movie about none other than football and we went to bed! I'd say as a daddy and husband he celebrated his 29th in STYLE!!!

Eric is the one who reads every blog before I post it, so Happy 29th Birthday Boo Bear! Here is to the next 60+ being right by your side for every single one, I love you so much!!

Injections, Depression, and Working Out

So if you read my last blog you know I've been in a slump with my depression. Let me just give a bit of a back story about it. I had Gman in April of 2014, by December I was under undue amounts of stress, pressure (you name it I had it). My husband was a recruiter for the Marine Corps. He is still in the military but no longer a recruiter. If any of you are Military wives and your husband is a recruiter, my hats are off to you! He would work from 7am-9/9:30pm. It was stressful, he would work most weeks-7 days a week. At one point I believe he went about 8 weeks without 1 day off. Ladies, that means momma didn't get a single day to herself. I was in school trying to finish up a Medical Assistant degree, his unit hated him so when I needed him to watch K&G, it was a battle. I was in night school 7 pm none the less. By that Christmas I wasn't sure that our marriage was going to survive the dreaded recruiting duty. I talked to Eric and told him I thought I may have depression and anxiety so I made a doctors appointment to go talk to my PCP. By the time I left his office I was prescribed an anxiety medication to take and a depression medication. Within the next 1-2 months I was convinced it wasn't strong enough and ready to go back for something new. The start of the 3rd month I felt like a completely different person. It was working and I no longer hated Eric, hated my life or the struggles that go along with being an almost single mom to 2 young children who loved and missed their daddy dearly. I'm so incredibly thankful that Eric has been graced with much more patience than I have. Because had I been him I would have divorced my ass. I was so moody, I was so bitchy, I was so fucking mean to him. It has now been well over a year since I started my medication and with it I'm not sure we would still be married or if I would still be a functioning adult.

So this past week I have no clue what has been wrong with me. I think it may have been that since Eric has been on recruiting duty since February 1st he's been home by 4:30 every single day and its been so nice. This past week we knew he would be leaving for a few nights to head to Chicago with another Marine and to talk to his own command about his situation. Unsure if he was going to be reenlisting or going to try and get a separation bonus. First our kids don't do good with dad gone over night. They turn into demons (FUCKING SERIOUSLY), demon children. They fight, they bite, they kick, they don't behave well at all! So on Tuesday he went to Omaha, NE and Wednesday morning he was off to Chicago. By Wednesday night I could tell my anxiety was through the roof and I was just off. So I took anxiety medication hoping it would help, it didn't. I slept like 6 hours total (NO lie) between Tuesday-Wednesday nights. By Thursday, I was just going crazy. I was overly exhausted, my kids wouldn't listen, I was eating everything in my site, I was in a super bad slump, and I wasn't sure I was going to be coming back out anytime soon. After I got a decent nights sleep on Thursday, I was feeling more like myself on Friday and was ready to get my ass back on track! Depression is such a bitch. She comes when she wants, stays however long she wants, and will leave when shes damn good and ready to give you a break. She's such a whore!!!

So Friday was a day I was actually looking forward to even though I knew like 99.9% sure I was going to be getting injections in both of my feet. No, couldn't be just one foot. It had to be both. About a year ago I started to get really bad pains in my heels. So bad that at night time I was basically either going to pee myself or crawl to the bathroom to avoid standing on either foot because it hurt so bad. My doctor told me I had plantar fasciitis with possible bone spurs but to try all these things and surely one of them would help. Yah negative. That was about 6 months ago with ZERO,ZLICH,NADA in the relief area. So I went about to see a PA about 2 weeks ago and she agreed it was time to go see a podiatrist. We scheduled the appointment and Friday was GO time! 

I got to Dr.Evans office and they took X-rays of both of my feet/heels to see how bad the bone spurs were and if I was going to need more than just a simple injection. Thankfully they weren't bad and we learned that bone spurs were not the cause of the pain but a result from having plantar fasciitis. So he thought I would get pretty good relief with just a cortisone shot in each heel. I was terrified. I have tattoos on each of the tops of my feet but lets be fucking honest, a needle stuck in my heel did NOT sound like a good FUCKING time. Much to my surprise I barely even felt the shot. They spray a super super super cold ass solution on my foot until its basically numb and freezing ass cold. He stuck it in, and I didn't feel it until about 3 seconds later when I felt the slightest little burning sensation and it was over. My left food was a bit more sensitive than my right because it is the one that hurts the worst.

By the time I got my shoes back on, got off the table and started to walk it was almost instant relief. It was crazy by the time we got to our next stop about 30 minutes in the car and I got out expecting my feet to hurt I had ZERO pain. As the day went on my feet got a little sore. I'm sure it was from the shot (the needle was FUCKING HUGE). When I got up at 1 AM to pee, I was bracing myself for it to hurt and zero pain at all. I'm amazed and if you suffer from heel pain, then get the shots, so so so worth it!

So this AM we headed to the gym. Eric has to lose 18 pounds in the next 30-45 days to weigh-in for a reenlistment package for the Marine Corps. I'm happy to say my feet didn't hurt me at all but my pulled muscle on my side was KILLING ME. I couldn't take a deep breath so running basically didn't happen. Thankfully it was LEGGGGG day! Y'all know momma needs to bring her ASS back up to the earth from hell....SERIOUSLY! So, Eric did my workout with me and we lifted for a good 30-45 minutes and did about 30 minutes on the treadmill. After 2 days of not hitting the gym it felt good to finally be back there. I normally don't go Sundays since its my day off but I think tomorrow I'm going to drag Eric and hit the gym anyhow!

I hope you guys had a better week than I endured! I think I'm going to finish up laundry, take a super hot bath to soak my tootsies, watch a redbox movie I rented, called "Miss you Already" and take a LONGGGG nap!!!

Guess who got a trainer???

ME,ME oooo Pick MEEEEE!!!

Hello Tuesday!! I'm still really struggling with what happened this weekend and me eating bad food for myself. When clearly I knew better, I have goals, goals I'm so incredibly serious about hitting! I didn't even kill my drive, I honestly feel like my drive is that much more to see a loss this week even if it is only -.1.

Last night I slept so awful, it's the worst sleep I have had since Gavin was a newbie and we were learning to breastfeed. I didn't fall asleep until 3:30 am and even then I was seriously up every 30 minutes. It's like my brain just wouldn't shut the hell off... I was so pissed. I was so annoyed that at like 6 am when Eric accidently touched my foot while he was getting ready for work, I flipped shit on him because I had just fallen asleep. It was an awful night of sleep. I've been so worried about this stupid weight gain that I swear I think about it all day. I feel awful and I'll tell you all about what my trainer told me today on how I'm slowly going to get over what I did this past weekend.

I woke up to the most amazing man, leaving the sweetest note ever. Remember the other day when I said he doesn't show his emotions? Guess who totally made me eat my words this AM?? Yup, you got it: Eric!! Y'all he's my best friend and knight in shining armor for a real reason.

Excuse the giant pink word, I used it to weigh-out for a diet bet! (I won!!)

So 9:30 am was my appointment with my trainer. He's super nice and y'all he tried to be soo sweet when he was weighing me. He put the scale (old fashion real one) on 150 and then went to go up. I was like really? He was like sorry I know women get offended so I don't want to offend you. I was like yah, your going to need to go at least 100 more pounds on that. I wish I was in the 100 group! Not yet buddy! He laughed and was like your super honest about this. I asked him what I had to hide? So we went through a bunch of workouts, he told me what to expect, that he would weigh me and do my measurements on the 15th of every month or sooner if I'm feeling discouraged. He also told me something I see a lot, that has probably made me not worry about this weight gain so much. He told me "I always tell my clients to not worry about the scale, at some point you'll hit a plateau, the scale won't budge but hey how do your clothes fit? I bet they fit better and if they do then you are doing all you have too...Fuck the scale, listen to your body and clothes, they tell the real truth." I swear from that moment on I was like fuck it if I gain 2, 3, or however many pounds this week. I already had to buy smaller workout clothes because mine were too big. Who cares the number on the FUCKING scale. I feel amazing, look at how far I've come in almost 3 months. 27 pounds gone forever like who the hell am I? I eat chicken, people fucking chicken for almost EVERY single meal! That never happens. Just ask Eric who proofreads this....

But, back to my trainer session. So we went through a bunch of workouts to determine how much I can lift now and taught me about the machines that I didn't know how the hell worked. Y'all, he made me do crunches....enough said right?? After that we went to a machine and he entered all my stats and out popped a little paper that gave me my workout for the day. He made sure to remind me about a thousand times that even if he's just there working out and not working for the gym and I have a question to not worry about asking. If I need help with any type of exercise he would be sure to help me. He was seriously so awesome!

My workout for today. I do 1 hour of cardio

regardless of what the machine says to me!

I couldn't believe in like 15 minutes I seriously lifted that much weight.

I was shocked to say the least!!

Today I didn't get to get in my normal 1 hour of cardio because this took like 45 minutes, so I only got in like 20 minutes. I did an incline at 9 for a mile to get a good sweat going and y'all I was sweating like a pig....

I can't wait to go back tomorrow and see what he has planned for me! I swear it's like gym Christmas every day! Also just a side note, I'm changing my weigh-in days to Sunday AM. I feel like if I change to Sunday's, then at least I'll keep my shit in check on Saturday when I tend to feel like I need to eat junk the most!

TMI WARNING BELOW!!!

One more quick thing, I know so embarrassing for the little guy. I'm such an awesome mom! We are slowly trying to get Gman potty trained! Today we pooped in the POTTY!!!! I was so excited we high fived like a million times and fist bumped!! I love that little guy so much! Kaity is good, just super obsessed with play dough right now, she would play with it all day if I let her!

Hey I need some form of blackmail when he's 18! At least his boy parts aren't out for the world to see!!

I hope y'all had a kick ass Tuesday. Whatever you did, I hope it was just as amazing as you are!! Tomorrow is hump day so make it a good one, get a workout in and remember.....

"The scale doesn't matter, it's how your clothes fit that really counts!"

Weigh-In Saturday

Weigh-in Saturday was soooo incredibly nice to me!! I lost 2.9 pounds this past week, which brings my current total to 27.6 pounds lost in the past 11 weeks. I'm hoping this week I will see yet another loss to get to say good bye to the 250's forever...but...I may have fucked that up this weekend.. Read on to see why....

So Saturday started off amazing and I was feeling SUPER motivated. We headed to the gym, and then we were going to get our Gman a new boy potty, pickup my 25 pounds down reward and get lunch. My husband saw this buffet and I should of known better and stuck to my no, lets go to either Applebees or Outback where I can just get chicken breast but I agreed and said sure. We thought it was just like an Old Country buffet where it'd have lots of options. Yeah, that so wasn't the case and the second we walked in we should of turned right the FUCK around and walked back out for my sanity of the day.

It was a Chinese Buffet, need I say more? A crap load of fried shit and if you haven't read one of my previous post, I'm on 30 days no fried food or sweets. I felt every single shitty emotion you can imagine. I was mainly pissed at Eric (I'm a bitch when i'm hungry!). So I tried their salad bar and the lettuce had to have been frozen or something because it was so incredibly disgusting I wanted to die. So I ate nothing and was even more annoyed when we paid for the meal.

Soon after we left, I let every emotion fly on my husband. I had a serious mental breakdown. I was bawling, bitching, crying, everything. I fucking laid it to him. He had no idea what the hell just happened. He didn't even know what to say to me (I have depression and anxiety so i'm kind of a hard case, poor man!) I bitched that he didn't care, or understand how hard I had been working to lose this weight. How I can't eat the way the kids and him do because I'm trying so hard to get the weight off. Oh, it was not a good day. By the time we got to applebees to get my grilled chicken, I had simmered down a WHOLE lot. I said sorry and things were better but damn did that feel good to unleash everything I was feeling deep down.

If you need to know 1 thing about Eric, it is that he doesn't show emotion, like at all. I'm a very emotional person and show everything, he's so mello. You could piss him off and he doesn't show his emotion. He has been like that since I met him almost 8 years ago. I know he loves me and is proud of me more than probably I am even proud of myself, if that's possible. He just doesn't show his emotion or wear it on his sleeve like me. When they say opposites attract, it is quite true in our case. We are completely opposite.

Then this stud muffin needed his mop trimmed so we headed to get his hair cut. This lady was like bat shit crazy, by the way! She kept telling me that how I was telling her to cut his hair was going to make him bald. In complete honesty if he ended up bald, we were totally cool with it! His hair grows like the fricken grass outside and in a month he'll have yet another mop! He was such a big boy and did SO SO good and just chilled on dad's lap while she cut it the way I told her too! He's like a mini Eric now, be still my beating heart, be still!

So by Sunday, I was still on track minus the chips and dip I ate... Eric wanted to take K&G to see Zootopia and I was all about that shit. I even squeezed in a pretzel & starbucks into my points. Then shit went downhill. We ended up at the mall to get my 25 pounds down hat and somehow I ended up eating Noodles and Company. FUCKING SHOOT ME. By the time we left I was sooo pissed at myself. I stepped on the scale today and I'm up 3.5 pounds. I'm sure most of that is water weight because really who gains 3.5 pounds in 1 fucking day. None the less I'm pissed, and beat myself up up. So this morning, I went and sweated my ass off at the gym!! So we shall see if I lose for the 12th week (3 straight months of losing weight). The struggle was REAL as FUCK yesterday. I must say that I did fit noodles and company in my points but none the less, it was NOT a good idea for my body.

I hope Monday has been good to you guys! Don't ever ever skip a Monday or your whole week will be thrown off! Get into the gym, eat a good meal and just feel good!! See you guys on Wednesday!!!

Workout Wednesday!!

 Workout Wednesday is here my friends!!!! First, lets recap my morning, I woke up at 6:30ish with Eric. He wanted cookies on Sunday so we bought cookies. I'm on a 30 days no sweets or fried foods and these cookies were still in our house. I asked him if he could eat them for breakfast so I don't want to lick the damn box all day. He said no, that if K&G didn't eat them today, he'd eat them tonight. Guess who had cookies for breakfast?? You guessed it (Momma of the YEAR right here folks). My 3 & 1 year old ate cookies for breakfast!!! Then we ventured off to the gym. Note to self...next time bring extra diapers for gman.... Oh, the joy's of parenthood!

Gman eating his cookies for breakfast!

It's Wednesday so that means LEGGGGG day!!! But, guess what?? For the 3rd day this week, momma didn't get to lift and I was super PISSED. But, I'm over it now, mainly because I discovered I have a freakin' callous on my hand! Y'all, a freakin' callous!!!

Right below my ring there is a baby callous!!

So before Gavin decided to have a emergency diaper accident, I at least got my cardio in. I ran 2 freakin' miles for the first time like EVER in my brand spanking new Altra Provision 2/5 shoes!! I ran that 2 miles in 28 minutes. It may be slow to some of y'all but to me that shit was FAST! Like lighting, my feet felt like they were floating on air. These shoes are so light they weigh like nothing at all! It was strange when I leave the gym because I changed from my Altra shoes to my Asics.  They feel like bricks on my feet. 

I swear, Cheerleader comes on just when i'm about to stop running and I just push THAT much harder to finish strong!!

So my family is pretty competitive or we all at least like to have a little competition on our butts to keep us moving. This month we chose to do a booty workout that I swear is at least bringing my ass back to earth. It's no longer deep down in hell!! We also decided to add only 5 miles onto our 50 from last month so we have to get 55 miles this month along with doing a booty challenge! I'm on 28.54/55 miles, y'all I'm kicking some SERIOUS ass! Week 2 isn't even over yet and I'm already over half way there!! I can't wait to see how many miles I actually get this month! Hopefully no illness in my family so I can hit it every week and finish strong!

Once we returned home and got Mr. Poopypants changed it was lunch time. I'm either loving some grilled chicken or all about a super full fluffy sandwich right now. Yesterday I ate grilled chicken and tonight is taco salad so I went with a full fluffy sandwich. Y'all this sandwich is so dang good. If I could eat it and not get bored in a week I'd make it for every single meal. My husband never gets bored with food so I know he wouldn't care as long as he's getting fed! Its so simple too, why eat like shit or something that isn't going to fill me up when I can eat this and be full from noon until we make dinner!

All that is in this sandwich is:

4oz carving board turkey (they have chicken and ham too!)

3 slices of center cut bacon

A pinch (seriously not that much to even measure) shredded cheese

Lettuce

Tomato

Pickles (I think this makes the whole sandwich)

Sara Lee 45 Cal bread lightly toasted

I swear its the PERFFFECCTTT sandwich. Don't try to hold it how I did or it may end up on your floor. I have freakishly large hands! Thanks mom and dad??

I hope that you all got in an awesome workout Wednesday and crushed it like there is no tomorrow! I hope you lifted HEAVY shit or you ran the fastest you've ran. Either way as long as you were out there getting it, really that's all that even matters!!

Sunday Funday

So I've decided that I want to blog on Monday about my Sunday. Sunday is our family day. We rarely ever do anything too exciting considering we are saving every single nickel and dime since Eric is getting out of the military at some point this year! So Yesterday was just like every other Sunday. We all slept in, ate a yummy breakfast, went on a walk because in Des Moines it was super nice yesterday, went & washed Eric's truck, and got groceries for the week! This is basically what we do every Sunday unless we have planned to take the kids somewhere to do something fun for the day!

 

So Yesterday I made the most EPIC (swear EPIC) pancakes, or cake cakes as my 3 year old love to call them! They were so divine. If I wasn't saying no for the next 30 days to sugar, cookies, fried foods, etc., then I would seriously eat them EVERY single day.

 

Andes Mint Cake cakes (12 smart points)

 

These pancakes were made with 1/2 cup of Kodiak pancake mix split into 4 pancakes, 1.5 tablespoons of creamy peanut butter melted (I swear it goes on and looks like a lot more when its melted!), 1/8 cup of sugar free maple syrup topped off with 2 Andes Mints that are cut into small pieces. I poured the hot syrup on last because it makes the Andes' melt soo much and its just oh divine, y'all fricken amazing! I even impressed myself with those pancakes!!

 

Also on Sundays, I'm a planner weirdo. I buy quite a bit of stickers for my planner on etsy. I'm just strange! Ever since I started my etsy business (another blog maybe one day like long time down the road kind of story), its a way to keep myself on track. Now that I'm getting healthy, its even more amazing to have a planner...

 

My weekly planner!!

It was so nice here in DSM yesterday that there was no way in heck we could just stay inside all day. Our gym doesn't have child watch on Sundays so we went on a family walk at my 3 year old KT's pace! Girlfriend likes to jog some too so it was an interesting walk to say the least! About half way through our kids saw HappyMilk (McDonalds) and it was about lunch time so we stopped to get them happy meals. Then we were off again on our walk. We walked 2.5 miles and the wind was blowing like 45 mph and it was a bit crazy. We lost the happy meal bags by the end of the block and had about 19323098420348 melt downs! Y'all know how those go right?? She's almost 4 and he's almost 2, use your imagination! I'm sure your not far off!! Once we got home Eric & I still needed to eat. So I ate a sandwich and he ate leftover chicken quesadillas.

 

 

Carving Board Turkey, Shredded 2% cheese, bacon Sammy for 7 smartpoints

So after E and I ate, I was super annoyed I didn't have tomatoes and lettuce for my sandwich so we got everyone ready and headed out the door. Before I started this healthy way of life I'd grocery shop 1 time within paydays. So once I got on my get healthy I started going 2-3 times a week with Sunday being the day we get the most. I'm always looking for new snacky kind of things to eat. I was about to check out and found something that looked interesting so I picked it up to try. I haven't tried either yet but I'll keep you updated if you follow my IG as to how good they are!! They are a bit on the higher side of points and I'm not a huge fan of high point snacks, but I'll give them a try!!

5 smartpoints for 25 thins

 

4 smartpoints for 24 thins

 

My 2 kids (remember 1 & 3) can basically eat me out of a home in a matter of minutes when we get home from the grocery store. Fresh fruit is gone within days. If it even lasts a day, its damn near a miracle! Kaity is like a fruit crazy person, I know this is good but girlfriend cant even make it home without needing a piece of fruit we bought!!

 

 

After we grocery shopped we didn't do much for the rest of the night. Neither K nor G napped so it was rather interesting. They fought basically all night. Eric worked on his resume to submit for a class he's going to take and to send it for another check from the military job recruiter guy. Let me just say his resume for 10 years in the military is pretty impressive! I wish mine looked like that (sadly SAHM doesn't get much credit in the working world)!!

 

For my birthday in November, Eric got me a sewing machine. So since I've bene spacing my crocheting down/out, I've been trying to teach myself to sew. Y'all sewing isn't nearly as easy as learning to crochet!! Let me just tell you that! I have a super cute almost 5 year old niece Ava who lives in HI, she's my brother Matt's daughter! She's a cute little thing, the way she says Aunt Brittanie... well it just melts my heart!! So recently I went and got fabric that she loves. She loves herself some princess' so I got princess fabric, pony fabric (kaity's fav!) and some Easter colors and I'm attemping dresses for the girls! I started last night and I followed these directions to a T, man a fucking T, and that shit is way too big so hopefully some point this week attempt #2 will happen. Thankfully I didn't sew it together so I can just fix what needs fixed!

 

Then we ate dinner. Lets not talk about my dinner last night. I was pissed, it sucked and I'm still super ANNOYED that it turned out like SHIT. S.H.I.T...I hated it, Eric loved it and I fucking hated it. So since I hated it so much heres what I ate for dinner the night before! It was soo yummy! Trader Joe's: if you have one you should visit it and get their chicken strips and frys! AMAZING and super low points for chicken strips and frys!

 

I ate 3 strips and frys for 15 smartpoints

Pretty soon after a dinner melt down from Kaitlynn we put the kids to bed. They were both EXHUASTED from no nap sunday... They fell fast asleep and it was sooo peaceful. When your an adult with kids, that peaceful sound is sooo amazing! I showered, Eric packed his gym bag and we headed to bed because on today (Monday) K&G both had dentist appointments.

 

 

Tomorrow or Today? (Monday 3/7) I'm starting a 30 days of no cookies, ice cream, candy, soda, really any sugary goodness, no fast food or fried food at a restraunt. I'll still eat Trader Joe's chicken strip and frys on occaisions. It should be an interesting 30 days! Thankfully I don't really consume much candy, ice cream or soda often. However I eat Oreo Thins and cookie butter like its leaving this planet tomorrow, so that will be interesting and we still have oreos' in our house... If you'd like to, you can join along for the 30 days of none of the above mentioned products! Trust me, if I can attempt it, you can too!! Plus who knows, in 30 days you still might not want it and you could keep going! My hope is it cuts my oreo habit down!! Here's to wishful thinking!!!

 

I hope you all had an amazing Sunday! Sunday's are a day I hate to love, but love em' anyway!! I'm ready to hit the week with a good start and keep my ass on track! I hope that if you're on some get healthy transformation, that you have a good week of staying on track too!!

 



Weigh-in Saturday, week 10

So in order to understand my weekly weigh-in, we have to go back to week 1. That was December 30th, 2015. When I weighed myself to start weight watchers for the last time I'm going to start it (no stopping this time). I started at a weight I've never before seen in my life. Cue in my about me, when I posted I almost had a heart attack when realizing how overweight I actually was-114ish pounds over weight to be perfectly honest. I weighed in at.....

 

Excuse my beautiful toe nail polish...or lack there of...
 

 

So every Saturday at 8am, I weigh myself. I'd be a total liar if I said I only weigh myself on Saturday.. I don't. I probably weigh myself at least 2-3 times a week to make sure my ass is staying on track! So that brings me to this weeks weigh-in. I've been doing 1 hour of Cardio a day. Normally I run 1 mile, then walk two and a half or three more miles a day. Then I lift weights after the cardio. I work my legs/ass on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesday, Thursday, & Saturday I work my arms. So far this has been the key for me. I've successfully lost every week for the past 10 weeks so I'd say its working pretty good for me! So without making you wait any longer, this weeks weigh in.....

 

 

That brings my total of weight lost to 24.7 pounds gone for what I hope to be FOREVER!! I'm doing weight watchers, so I don't really eat just chicken, veggies, rice, fruit, etc. day in and out. I eat what I want as long as I stay within my point range. I normally do an awesome job at that, but there are those times when I need some ice cream, chocolate, pizza and fries when I don't stay under my point max. But like my tag line says, I'm doing this on my own terms. So if I choose to feed myself crappy food, that's what I'll do. I know that if I ate clean every day, all day long that this journey would not be realistic to me. I'd binge eat all the time, like every day probably! Weight watchers (in December I believe, if I'm wrong leave it in the comments and I'll edit this!) switched from points plus to smart points. In the past when I've been on points plus, I would do really great for like 2-4 weeks. Then the next 2 weeks I would go over the deep end and binge like nobodies business and gain a crap load back. So for about a month I was normally losing the same 4-8 pounds over and over again. It was a disgusting cycle I wasn't sure how to get myself out of it. When it switched to smart points it really pushed away sugars (the more sugar it has the higher smart points it has). So in turn, it made me really read food labels and I try to get low sugar, no sugar, or just don't buy it at all because the sugar content is ridiculous in it! It really made me start to look at what I was eating which I wasn't doing on my previous time with WW.

 

This go around I've learned a lot about myself. I now drink 160 ounces of water a day and I actually crave the water or am thirsty so much that I want nothing but water. I can't tell you the last time I drank an entire pop myself and it tasted good. Before I could put away a 32oz if not more of pop in no time. I've also learned this time that if I lose sight for 1 meal, then the very next meal I'm all about getting back on track. Even if that means I have 5 points left for dinner, I'm all about trying to make it work and not going over my limit. I've learned that I absolutely love going to the gym. 8 weeks ago I started going back and when I went back I hated everything about it so I started with water exercise classes. I loved them. They were so much fun. However they were slow paced and didn't make me feel the burn I thought I needed. So after about 3 weeks of it, I switched to what I'd like to call my normal every day workout!  

 

I hope that in some small way this blog will help to inspire someone else to start their own journey to become a better version of themselves. And hey, even if no one reads this, at least when I'm 100 pounds lighter I'll have all of these memories written down somewhere that I can go back at and see where I started because everyone has to start somewhere!

 

About Me.

 

Hey there, you probably already know that I'm Brittanie! You can call me britters too, its my childhood nickname that I've grown to love even as an adult! I'm 27 years old and according to all medical charts when I started my weight loss journey on 12/30/2015, I was 114.5 pounds overweight. You read that number correct and I about had heart attack when I saw it.

 

 

Lets go back a few years, well more like 13 years! When I was a brand new high school student! My older brother was a Junior his name is Matt. We were pretty close growing up. We did a lot of things together and had most of the same friends. That may be because we grew up in the small town of Palco, Kansas (go ahead I'll wait while you google)! Freshman through Junior years of High School  were years I wish I could basically forget and NEVER EVER remember again in my life. Sadly that isn't the case. If I remember much of my childhood, its those 3 god awful fucking years! I was made teased so so much. I was called "Sasquatch". It was not a good time my friends. NOT AT ALL. I was miserable. However,  those 3 god awful years probably shaped me into who I am today and the simple fact is that now I take zero shit from anybody. Also, most of those guys who made fun of me now have daughters of their own and I'd like to think some sort of karma has come back to get them and I pray that their daughters are never harassed like they did to me. In high school I thought I was overweight. Mind you I'm 5'8.5"-5'9" I'm not a short person at all and the good lord graced me with some boobies. So my weight was probably anywhere from 140-160 all though high school was no means that overweight. I was active, I played sports for most of high school, and I worked.

 

 

This is me my freshman year of college. Yup clearly not overweight...YET!

 

My dad will often joke that I only went to college to get married, however that is probably the closest thing to the truth I ever did hear! I went to college when I probably shouldn't have. I had no idea what the hell I was doing with my life or what I wanted. Other than someone to be married to and be a Wife and Mother. In December of 2007, after I had graduated high school earlier that year, is when I met my husband. Good ol' internet helped me find him! He was active duty in the Marine Corps, stationed overseas in Iraq. We would talk a few times a week on Yahoo Messenger. He got back in March of 08 and we met in real life on his 21st birthday (March 23rd to be exact)! Remember this date, things go fast so hold onto your seats! We hung out almost every single day. I'm not sure there was a day we didn't hang out until he went to annual training in Utah before our marriage. In May 08, he was going to Las Vegas to see his brother and nieces who he hadn't seen in a while and asked if I wanted to go with him. Of course I did, I was head over heels in love with this man! So remember we met March 23rd. Sometime between then and May 27th, he had met my parents (Laura and Leonard) and asked my dad (who he had just met) if he could marry me! On May 27th, 2008 (in Las Vegas) he asked me to spend forever with him. How could I say no? I was young, dumb, and so in love! Soon after we realized that it would be better for Eric to go from a reservist to active duty in the Marine Corps for our family. So we needed to get married and needed to do it rather fast so he could put in the paper work to go Active Duty! So on June 30th with one of his friends and a complete stranger, we went to the JOP and got Hitched!! So we met in real life on March 23rd, got engaged in Las Vegas on May 27th and Married on June 30th. Is your head spinning? Most people shake their heads when they hear our "love story" and say that will never last!

Eric and I the year we got married

Eric and I the summer of 2015

 

 So soon after we were married, we waited for paperwork back from the military to tell us where they were sending us. That would come in early 2009. We found out we were moving to Jacksonville, NC and Eric was going to be stationed at Camp Geiger (SOI East) He would need to go to school for 2 months because he needed to change his MOS (new job basically). So we would spend the next year and a half in North Carolina. In that time I probably put on anywhere from 20-40 pounds I never really weighed myself EVER. It was all the beer and eating out we did that did that to me, I'm sure. I was 19/20, he was 21/22 and we were young, newlyweds who didn't have any children, so why not? We basically drank every single weekend. We quickly became friends with a bunch of other Marines from a motor T unit in the same area who were married and had wives. We would play beer pong almost every weekend in my apartment's front lawn. To say I spent the next like 6 summer months trashed wouldn't be an understatement!! I was drunk a lot. I rarely drink by the way, at least now I rarely drink! In the spring of 2010 we found out we were PCSing (moving) to Yuma, AZ. Its hot as balls there people, like ON FRICKEN FIRE! By now Eric and I were out of our partying stage and okay with welcoming a child whenever god saw I was fit for our family. We decided we were finally ready to be parents. We were both working towards college degrees and Eric had a good job in the military! It wouldn't be until Labor Day weekend in 2011 when we found out after seeing a fertility doctor and me gaining another good 40-50 pounds that we indeed were going to have our first child the next May! I started my pregnancy with our Kaitlynn at 212 pounds. I gave birth via emergency c-section on May 10th at 3:45am weighing 232 pounds. After I had Kaitlynn, I started weight watchers to try and lose the baby weight and then some to get healthy for my family. Well, we know how that went. It worked for a few weeks as I lost weight but then I gave up hope after a gain week. How it always goes right? This would only be the 1st attempt of many to come in my days ahead! Before this, I never really tried to lose weight because I just simply didn't care. Now I had a reason to care and it still didn't work in my favor!

Kaity a week after she as born, and Kaity now!



In February of 2013, we moved to where we live now in Des Moines, IA! Here, Eric has been a recruiter for the past 3 years. He's no longer on Recruiting Duty any longer and instead works as a site inspector of other recruiting stations. When we first moved to Iowa, I started my 2nd weight loss journey. I again started weight watchers that summer while trying to get my associates degree in Medical Assisting. I have a super motivating family, my dad and I (the first summer here) made a bet who was going to run the fastest in a Color Run 5K here in DM! He won but hey, from about March-July I was able to lose 40ish pounds. I believe I lost a bit more but I can't remember the exact number of pounds I lost, I want to say like 43-46 pounds. After the color run I stayed on track, until one day shopping I had this sinking feeling that I was PREGNANT. I was getting up at night to pee and I only did that when I was pregnant with Kaity.  I just knew I was going to be pregnant. Sure enough after I skyped with my niece and sister in law that were in Hawaii,I peed on a stick and I was in fact pregnant. I didn't think it'd be that easy considering everything we went through to conceive our daughter. On Thanksgiving in 2013, we found out we were having a little boy. A c-section was scheduled so my mom and dad could be there and on April 7th at around 8:45am, I had our son Gavin (Gman).

Gavin the day he was born, Gavin just a few weeks ago! Don't worry ladies he's taken by his momma for now!!

 

So after I had Gavin I worked really hard on finishing school and did in October 2014. I made the Deans List the last few semesters of school. I started my externship and was offered a job at the place I externed. It was an Oncology Office (something that is near to my heart) and I enjoyed it for about the first 3 months as an employee. I even started weight watchers yet again and was losing weight. Then after about 3 months I hated everything about it. I was basically the bitch there, I did everything while other employees sat on their phones and did not a DAMN thing. So I went looking for a new job and found one at Iowa Heart Center. I thought I would love this job. I liked it but I didn't. It was a lot of work. I was traveling all the time to other offices 1-2 hours away and gone from my kids way more than I wanted so I left that job in August of 2015. Since then I've been a stay at home momma to K&G and of course a furbaby momma to Jesse, Abby & Allie. I also crochet like a little old grammy and run a small etsy shop. I won't bore you with that because that is not what I'm here to tell you about.

So now, read along with me in my journey of struggles, bawling, annoying, crazy person postings to watch me lose the weight I need to become the healthiest version of myself for my husband, kids and really just for myself!! I hope you enjoy what you've read so far.

 

**Disclaimer**

 

I cuss a lot, I'm a 27 year old lady who cusses like a sailor... You've been warned!!!